What we have now..

Hey, I think I fell in love with you..
and I think I fell hard, really hard..

even if I'm not supposed to do this..
even if this is the reason why I ran away last time..
I end up...doing it anyway..

I just can't distance myself from you..

I just can't...

Those time when we're apart..
It kinda fill me with guilt..
Guilt for what I'd done..
For following what I felt..
In the end, I were too scared..
Too scared to take your hand..
because..

"You're not mine, not that time...... and not this time too"

Then I decided to properly apologize for what I've done..
It end up, I fall all over for you again..
I don't really know what's inside your heart..
I'm even confused..

As much I want to convince myself that you feel the same..
It always end up killing me inside..
Your actions tell otherwise, while your words makes me wonder..

"I know that you have affection for me, but...how much?"

I trust you, I believe in you..
Because you always say to me..

"We don't know what will have in the future..but, we know what have now"

I feel both happy and somehow painful when hearing these words..
But even so...
I'm going to hold on to these words..
Because it's the first thing that you ever say to me that is closest to..

"I love you"

I'm going to keep on loving you..
Until that time when "what I have now" is no longer me..
Even when "what I have now" is still you..
I'll properly say goodbye..

In the meantime..
I'm going to live my life right now the fullest..
My life that has you in it..
I don't know how long, I don't even know when..

But that one thing you told me..
Is the only thing that I know..

"Right now, I only have you"

P/S : I love you..

END of story

L - END
I know that i may mean only that much to you,
I know that the knot will be untied,
But even so..
I can't keep myself away from you..

You know the last time, the last time I ran away..
I'm scared of getting walked all over my heart...
The pain, excruciating me for just have to walk you go..
away from me, at the end of this road..

i want your love,
I want your smile,
I want your heart,
Even just for now
I think it'll be enough for me..

I'll never run away again,
I'm tired of denying what my heart wants,
I don't care if i fall to deep to get up again,
and i hope you don't mind if I act this way..

i want your love,
I want your smile,
I want your heart,
Even just for now
I think it'll be enough for me..

i want you to be mine,
even for a while,
for every moment that i get,
I'll make it the best,
even if its just for you,
I don't mind feeling the pain.
you are my hope,
and I hope that you will be smiling always..


i want your love,
I want your smile,
I want your heart,
Even just for now
I think it'll be enough for me..
I think it'll be enough for me to cover up the end of this story.

'that' time

We can plan, we can try, we can hope.. 
but in the end, the future will never be as clear as we imagine it to be.
It may never end up as much as we wanted to, or it may be something we never really thought of. 

When I was small, what I imagine my life would be at this age is totally different than what i'm living right now. 
Who'd ever thought I would end up this way? 
not even me. 
As we grow, we started to matured, start to think seriously about what we need to do, responsibility, and dreams. 
We started to get scared of the question "What if?". 
"What if i fail my exams?"
"What if i don't get a job even my grades are good?"
"What if something happen to me?"
"What if I'll never get married?", etc.

Having these question showed that you're getting matured as time goes, 
but..
there is one thing that we should never lose no matter how old we get. 

Back then when we were small, we live our life the fullest at 'that' time. 
We should never forget that, 
"live our life the fullest at this time"

What we have right now, 
who we are right now, 
who do we have right now.. 
LIVE IT! CHERISH IT! 

its what u have right now that matter, don't lose it. 
We will never know when we'll leave this world, so let's live our life the fullest at this time where we're still breathing. 

Every second, 
every minute, 
every hour, 
every day,
live it, 
embrace it,
make it memorable!