What we have now..

Hey, I think I fell in love with you..
and I think I fell hard, really hard..

even if I'm not supposed to do this..
even if this is the reason why I ran away last time..
I end up...doing it anyway..

I just can't distance myself from you..

I just can't...

Those time when we're apart..
It kinda fill me with guilt..
Guilt for what I'd done..
For following what I felt..
In the end, I were too scared..
Too scared to take your hand..
because..

"You're not mine, not that time...... and not this time too"

Then I decided to properly apologize for what I've done..
It end up, I fall all over for you again..
I don't really know what's inside your heart..
I'm even confused..

As much I want to convince myself that you feel the same..
It always end up killing me inside..
Your actions tell otherwise, while your words makes me wonder..

"I know that you have affection for me, but...how much?"

I trust you, I believe in you..
Because you always say to me..

"We don't know what will have in the future..but, we know what have now"

I feel both happy and somehow painful when hearing these words..
But even so...
I'm going to hold on to these words..
Because it's the first thing that you ever say to me that is closest to..

"I love you"

I'm going to keep on loving you..
Until that time when "what I have now" is no longer me..
Even when "what I have now" is still you..
I'll properly say goodbye..

In the meantime..
I'm going to live my life right now the fullest..
My life that has you in it..
I don't know how long, I don't even know when..

But that one thing you told me..
Is the only thing that I know..

"Right now, I only have you"

P/S : I love you..